Getting ready before I go go.
One week left and I am constantly thinking about my trip to Thailand.
The timing of it isn`t great, but I have been waiting for it to happen for so long that I`ll just have to get over that. I`ve been kissing girlfriends goodbye, and planning extra time with the family as my dad is slightly worried for my safety. He keeps reminding me that travelling as a woman is not safe and that I better be careful or I`ll end up in prison with drug charges, or raped, or lost or even killed.`They` will put something in my drink and I would never even notice. So dad, in the case that you were right and you are reading this post while I'm in prison or worse. You were right, and I was wrong. You told me. And if you are reading this while I`m in Thailand, but still okay, sorry for being morbid!
At the moment I am on a plane from London to Brussels, once last business trip before my holiday, and this always gives me time to think. I am terrified of flying, but I actually do I enjoy the time on the plane, as it forces me to take time to read, think and write.
So on this particular flight I want to think and write to you about why I am taking this trip. The obvious and nonetheless valid reason is that I love travelling. (Also I bought an IPad and a wireless keyboard at the airport I am dying to break in. ;-) ) But on a more serious note I have had quite a hard past 1,5 years. I found myself in quarterlife crisis that has been hard to escape, as a 25 year old divorcee with a dying need to just get away from it all. I originally planned a tree month escape to Asia as a means of getting a grip with my life. (3 months have turned to 1) And until I was able to go I think I have been holding on to the hope that it might all just pass. I strongly relate to the `Wake Up` song by Gavin Mikhail in that sense. ;-) So I need this trip to finally put a stop to this period. I have been licking my wounds for long enough now. It is time. It is sooo time to move on. I am sick of myself, I am sure my girlfriends are sick of me and really even my ego is tired of constantly feeling sorry for itself.
So Thailand, I hope you are ready. To meet the new me. Or even better the old me. Time to break me in. What`s life if not a crazy adventure? What`s life if not an never ending roller coaster. Time to stop fearing the ups and downs and just go along with them, screaming and jeering, both ways. This year I want to be fearless of pain again. It will present itself, wether I fear it or not. I will be fine. I will be great. And if I am not, I will deal. So, let's go universe! We can do this!