My name is Evy and if you really knew me, you would know that...
Last week we had a women's day out with all the girls (25 - 62 agewise) from work. A treat we get yearly from our CEO and his wife just for being 'of the female race'. A little discriminating towards our male colleagues, but as the CEO once explained it: "Women deserve a treat, they have it hard enough already". Oh well, it suits me well, so for now I indulge guilt free.
All 22 of us enjoyed an afternoon of meditation, workshops and we ended with an amusable dinner and too much sparkling wine. (Guilty as charged) It was really a lovely day out.
Now, to introduce ourselves before the workshop the 'teacher' asked to complete the following statement: "My name is... and if you would really know me you would know that..."
What a great way to get started! A simple, but profound way of getting to know each other. The task was a little daunting for many of my colleagues, and in an unexpected way for me as well.
I started thinking about the things only people who truly know me would know. I initially answered the question with: "My name is Evy and if you would really know me you would know that there is more than meets the eye"
Pretty vague and somehting anyone could say really, but the fact of it is that people very easily assume they have me figured out. I'm pretty out there. I can be too loud, too publicly emotional, too fierce, too harsh and too honest. And that seems to give people the impression that all there is to it. They don't know I read hundreds of books or that I really am a 'Trekkie' (Star trek aficionado). They don't know I've lost my mother or that I am divorced. They don't know I had a dog called Luna or that I am obsessed with my weight.
They don't see the insecurities or the doubts. They see the confidence and the arrogance and believe me I am pretty self-assured, but they don't know how much I miss the security of a family. Of having someone on your team always. No matter what. I am on my own team and for now that is just fine, but boy I do miss someone telling me it will be okay.
So I guess my name is Evy and if you really knew me you would know that I do feel lonely sometimes.